BIT / Beezy in Training

Under the post "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"

Someone: JESUS WAS A BOY TOO!!!!!!

YiAnn (Yining's 13 year old sister): No, Jesus was a real man.

Speak the truth, sister.

My grandma is beezier than your grandma

Tonight, I called my grandma to tell her I got into grad school. She said she was happy for me.

Then she told me to go get a boyfriend and get married.

LOL! The Original Lau Beezy.

Small Group Snippets

It has been a while since the last update. Come on girls, we can't let the beezy blog die!

Tonight during small group, Natasha made a brief appearance (only because she loves small group very much) that I have captured in the following two quotes.

1) Talking about the disproportionate abundance of March birthdays in her small group: "What we need is two events: a joint birthday celebration for everybody, and then one for me."

2) After reclaiming her "throne" a.k.a. the comfortable higher chair at the end of the night: "Yeah, it was so strange to sit so low on the ground with everybody else."

And this is only a snippet of the craziness that happens every Monday night. You can't touch LSSG, yeah-uh.

PDA

by Jamie Tan

University of California, Berkeley

College of This is Really Taken from an Email Yining Sent Me & College of None of My Posts Are Original

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..hahahaa david's brother, john, said this with regard to PDA, but i think it applies here. i asked whether too much PDA would make people uncomfortable, and he said
"it's only too much because other people have too little."

i'll let you unpack that statement.

"Jelly" 101

by Jamie Tan

University of California, Berkeley

College of Peanut Butter & Jelly

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(JK, this post is actually written by my BfFfFFf Christina Nguyen from UCI. I'm just taking credit for it cause this is my blog and I can.)

Jelly is short for the word JEALOUS but with multiple beezy connotations. People who say they are jealous are ACTUALLY jealous and wear their emotions on their sleeves, making them look like they are naturally insecure and have problems which is totally not acceptable if you are a beezy. Therefore, it is better to say "jelly" to make it sound like you're not THAT jealous when really, the truth is that you're secretly seething with envy inside. Furthermore, the word "jelly" can be inserted into phrases that make it appear (because appearances are SO important) that you are joking but not really.

Example: "Wow, I am eating a peanut butter and JELLY sandwich right now."

Usually this phrase can be found beneath another beezy's facebook profile picture such as this one:

(Yes, that is Xtina in the hat and that is me in the red coat. Of course I was not really exhibiting envy, it was all for the purposes of this blog....even though this was taken a year before this blog was created. - Jamie)

Or a look-at-me-I-had-so-much-fun-traveling facebook album such as Julie's "Hawaii" album.

To many people, it would appear that you are making a simple statement about food, but a true beezy will be able to pick up on the underlying meaning that you are in fact being force fed scoops of insecurity and jealousy by another beezy. If the reader of your comment is gifted with beezy intuition, he/she/beezy will realize that you are passively challenging their beeziness, in which case they will most likely respond with the following comment:

"Good, I hope your peanut butter and jelly sandwich tastes amazing!"

Be careful! They do not really think you are eating a sandwich, nor do they believe that your sandwich tastes good. They are openly mocking the fact that their beeziness surpasses yours, and their true intention is to rub it in your face but in a way that frees them from being called out as a bad friend. At this point, you either fold and count your losses or continue by putting up a better facebook profile picture than theirs until one or both of you verbally begin attacking the other person through text message or gchat. Whoever initiates the non-passive aggressive onslaught of beeziness first loses.

Side note: All uses of the word "jelly" must be done via internet to enhance the double meanings and passive aggressiveness. If you were to say the phrase "I am eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich" in person, you are automatically a loser because 1. you CLEARLY are not eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and 2. you are not being passive in any way, which defeats the purpose for using the word "jelly" all together.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact the O.B. (Original Beezy) aka ME at any time ;)

Mark of a true closet beezy:

OOlivia: haha, i jaywalked across college right in front of a police car

and i saw him pull up i guess to give me a ticket

and i ran into my apt, and watched him drive away

[Her Royal Beeziness enters.]

Grace Liu

how come you took down your post in the beezy blog?

Valerie Lu

oh because

haha

i decided

i didnt think it was a good enough opening act for this beezilicious blog.

[Her Royal Beeziness exits with appropriate fanfare, ladies-in-waiting, and miniature beezy dogs trailing behind.]

Beezies of the Insect World

Yesterday in my MCB class about animal behavior, the professor talked about pheromones (chemical signals released by a member of a species to trigger an innate response in another). One example that stuck out to me was about the Queen Mandibular Pheromone (QMP), which is secreted by the queen bee of a bee hive. Now everyone knows being classified as a "queen bee" is beezy enough, but look at the effect QMP has on worker bees:

Causes workers to rear brood, forage for food, build comb, suppresses rearing of the new queen, ovaries of workers

So basically, not only does the queen get every one of her bee-needs and bee-comforts catered to, she emits something that sterilizes/destroys the ovaries/shuts down the babymaker of OTHER FEMALE BEES! This ensures her status in the social structure of the hive. The professor called this a sophisticated form of power control (in my notes, I almost wrote "birth control"). I would call this an ultimate example of beeziness given to us by Mother Nature.

New inspiration for how Natasha will run her small group? HAHA just kidding.

Until next time...Your loyal Queen B,

Natasha

Edited to add:

Val: LOL

WOW

your alter ego is really getting to you

The Story of Natasha

Grace Liu
University of California Berkeley
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Hello, world! (Sorry, I never had a blog and that is the way I always wanted to start one, so deal with it.) In this entry I am going to present the story of Natasha, my alter ego and beezy persona that comes, or more appropriately, struts out of the beezy closet (and onto the beezy runway) once in a while. I am doing this at the request of fellow blog contributor Jamie Tan. Warning: The following may or may not be completely fabricated.

Natasha came into existence at the first IV-CCF MOC Meeting of Fall 2009. As leaders sat around coming up with their pseudonyms, like a beautiful deep red rose she bloomed into existence, proclaiming "provocativeness" as her defining feature. Her past is of a mysterious origin, but it is thought that as a young girl she had the wardrobe of Suri Cruise and the status of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, in a faraway Eastern European country. Although it seems that Natasha's beeziness is innate in nature, some of it was likely acquired from the Seventeen and later, Cosmo magazines she read growing up (tragically, our heroine lacked advice and attention from her parents). She always had big dreams of haute couture runways in Paris and Milan, but instead settled for the next best thing: joining a Christian fellowship at UC Berkeley. Now she leads a group of mini-beezies-in-training, only surpassed in beeziness by her co-leader and the beeziest of beezies, The Big Show. Together Natasha and The Big Show run one of the beeziest small groups in CCF history, setting solid examples by posing for no apparent reason and autographing personalized T-shirts (respectively).

P.S. Name guidelines: Natasha will suffice for the most part, but she will let you call her Nata if you know her a bit better. Tasha/Nat are not preferred, as they are too "wholesome" for her image. Do not be mistaken; these are serious rules.

More to come on Na-ta-sha in the future. ;)

"Beezy in the Workplace and Economy"
Vicky Nguyen
UC Berkeley, School of Overcoming Other Beezies Who Cramp My Style
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Hello readers of the Beezy world!

Thank you, Miss Tan for that enlightening etymological lesson. As well as calling me something close to a "high minded egocentric beezy" - the best compliment from a haughty beezy as yourself.

Attention to all: Beezies are in the economy, and they are in the workplace, or in our more applicable case, academy.

They are at your desks, plugged into the only outlet in the lecture hall, so they can play online boogle and comment on their own facebook walls.
They are in your bathrooms, sneaking a peek at themselves in the mirror while you are taking a crap, mistaking the silence in the bathroom for privacy.
They are meeting you randomly in the library, asking you about the lecture they ditched, as probing and as stealthy as Katie Couric at a diner with Sarah Palin.

Some beezies in the workplace and economy:

President Barack Obama

Recent acts of beeziness:Making snide and snarky remarks at the Republicans during his State of the Union Address last night, in response to their reluctance to clap when he nobly mentioned jobs, healthcare, or his beezy wife, Michelle.
Accomplice Beezies: Michelle Obama, Joe Biden (closet beezy)

Haas Business People

Recent acts of beeziness: Wearing their business suits, even when it's 90 degrees outside and/or Halloween, making gallops of dollahs after graduating.
Accomplice Beezies: ABA, AAA, PBJ, USUCK

Apple, Inc.

Recent acts of beeziness: Coming out with new iPad. Only a beezy would come out with a sleek electronic tool that would provoke embarrassing unintentional quotes. Imagine Steve Jobs giggling as you innocently walk by saying "I totally forgot to bring my pad today"
Accomplice Beezies: Apple does not need accomplices. Rather, it has style and beezy groupies (hipsters).

Don't get me wrong, dear readers, beezies are not only there to get their way and their chance at the big time. We are also in the business of helping you, since that usually helps us and makes us look cute. As philosophic Beezy Socrates once said: "An honest man is always a child."

First Order of Beeziness

HELLO, WORLD.

me: lol

should i go public with it

Josiah: yea

go public!

me: do you think i should get the approval of everyone else

or just be a beezy and post it

Josiah: dude

you have to be a beezy

that is the perfect way

to start the beezy blog

Josiah: nay, this is the ONLY way to start a beezy blog

Epistemology of the Term,

"Beezy"

by Jamie Tan

University of California, Berkeley

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DEFINITION

bee⋅zy [bee-zee]

noun, verb, bee⋅zy⋅ing, bee⋅zied, adjective, bee⋅zi⋅er, bee⋅zi⋅est, emoticon, ^.^

-noun

1. one whom is to be contended with: Professor Ananya Roy, Professor Ananya Roy's accent, Professor Ananya Roy's speeches

2. one whose presence is to be known: "The party don't start 'til I walk in." - Ke$ha

3. one whose attitude cannot help but be exerted: "I can't help it if I'm cute..." - Anonymous

4. one whom is fabulous: Michelle Obama's wardrobe is an outward expression of her inward fabulosity

5. the positive and empowering reclamation of the word "Bit**"

-verb

1. attitude manifested in action: "She's beezying me up with that beezy look she's giving me."

-adjective

1. attitude manifested in....stuff: "That necklace/outfit/etc is so beezy."

-emoticon

1. the beezy face: ^.^

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DIFFERENT SPECIES OF BEEZIES

...featuring IV's Class of 2010!

1. Out & Proud Beezies (otherwise known as, "Beezies")

O&P Beezies have attitude, intimidate people, and aren't afraid to wield their opinions. Being a beez is an essential part of their character...and you'll learn to love them for it. ^.^

Examples:

Female: Jamie Tan, Valerie Lu, Vicky Nguyen (I'm a beezy, therefore I'm putting my name first)

Male: Kenny Yu, Sean Jeong

2. Closet Beezies

Closet beezies' beeziness is more subtle, you don't experience the full beeziness until you get to know them. Often times the beeziness of Closet Beezies can be more powerful than the beeziness of the O&P beezy.

Examples:

Female: Olivia Lau, Grace "Natasha" Liu

Male: Eric Hwang, Brian Coox

3. Beeziest Beezies of the Beezies

The sheer magnitude of these beezies' beeziness extends far beyond the beeziness of the average beezy. For this reason, there can only be one in each category.

Examples:

Female: Andrea Mae Wong

Male: Sebastian Jonathan Yip

4. Beezies that don't know they're Beezies

Beezy that doesn't know she's a beezy: Lisa Luoh

Beezy that knows she's a beezy but isn't out: Christine Kuang

Closet beezy that doesn't know he's in the closet: Dan Garcia

Beezy that is out but doesn't know he's out: Mike Cheng

5. Not Beezies.

They're not beezies.

Examples:

Female: Emily Fu

Male: Tim Collier, Andrew Huang

6. Not really Beezies but not completely not Beezies

They're beezies but...not really. Title measured by exhibition of beeziness too infrequent to be deemed Out & Proud.

Examples:

Female: Sarah Lin

Male: Josiah Leong

7. BIT's (Beezies-In-Training)

Not Out & Proud, not in the Closet, not not really Beezies but not completely not Beezies...these Beezies are on the brink of Beeziness. We believe in you.

Examples:

Female: Stephanie Yee

Male: Brian Young, Michael Chen